So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Randomize
