so that wasnt chicken after all
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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