matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
your room smells of hookers.
And success
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
