Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
