it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
