U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
