what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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