I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
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