she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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