Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
