you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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