C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
