i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
