That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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