Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Randomize
