ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
