I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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