i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
