No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
