I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize