how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
