Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
operation harelip BJ is a go
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
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