I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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