im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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