I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
She's the barista slut.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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