I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
