I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
