Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
