He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
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