So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
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We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
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I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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