I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
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