the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
