my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
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