Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
