i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
