We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Randomize
