A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
