I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
