think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
