spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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