It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
she smelled like a LAN party
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Randomize
