Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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