Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
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