she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
