there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
