When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize