Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
