we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
