where am i from again
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
