you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
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