wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
