I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
