You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
