This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
