Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
