Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize