I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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