cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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