So drunk its hurt
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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