i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
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