For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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