We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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