fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize
