it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
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I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
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Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
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