I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Randomize
