We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Randomize
