Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
