Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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