Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
