That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
