if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
