Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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