i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Randomize
