I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
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