I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said "one day" and that day is not today
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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