he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
